Thanksgiving in Florida: Part 3 (Conclusion)

It’s 5:00 PM. Ashlyn calls.

Ashlyn: “So how was your week?”

This guy: “Pretty good man, I had a lot of fun catching up with old friends.”

Yes, I call girls “man” or “dude” sometimes. I never realized it was a problem, until recently when like 2 of them told me to stop doing that. Sorry.

Ashlyn: “That’s good, so are you ready for tonight?”

This guy: “yeah, I’m still trying to pull the plans together, but tonight is my last big night so it should be fun.”

Ashlyn: “So do you still want me to come out?”

Do I still want her to come out? I never said I wanted her to come out, in fact, I clearly recall her crashing my plans entirely on her own.

This guy: “Sure, I mean if you’re up to it, come through. There’s gonna be lots of people there so it should be fun.”

Ashlyn: “Cool, so what time are you headed over?”

This guy: “Not sure, I’ll keep you posted.”

Ashlyn: “Ok, don’t forget.”

This guy: “Impossible.”

Ashlyn: “I love you.” She said laughing. “See ya!”

There was nothing weird about that “I love you.” She said it like a friend says to another. I wasn’t threatened, but I was wondering if her coming out would be the best move. I didn’t want to play babysitter while I was hanging out with my boys. I thought about it for a little while then finally concluded that it was worth it, because who knows, maybe I can get a little nookie from it, right?

When am I ever right?

It was now 8PM and the plan was to go back to Royal Harem, get some free drinks, then head over to a small bar called the Louisiana Narrows and then finally end up at Element30 to finish the night off with some dancing.

I started trying to figure out where to tell Ashlyn to meet us when all of a sudden my phone rings. I didn’t want to roll with Ashlyn the whole night but she caught me off guard…

Ashlyn: “Did you forget about me?”

This guy: “No, in fact I was just about to call you/”

Ashlyn: “Sure, uh huh.”

This guy: “I was.”

Ashlyn: “It’s like 8 o’clock.”

This guy: “Yes, I know… you know how I do, the party don’t start for me till later.”

Ashlyn: “Well this is Orlando, everything closes at 3.”

This guy: “Oh yeah. Anyhow, here’s the plan. I’m headed to Royal Harem for a couple of drinks, then we are going to Louisiana Narrows and we’ll finish it up at Element30.”

Ashlyn: What time are you going to Harem?”

This guy: “Nowish.”

Ashlyn: “You weren’t going to tell me were you?”

This guy: “I was and I did.”

Ashlyn: “I know, I’m just fuckin with you. See you there.”

This guy: “Ok, later!”

Yes, I know I did it to myself.

So we headed over to Royal Harem where we began to drink for free. We only had about 1 hour until the free drinks dried up so we made the most of it. Me and my siblings quickly got our buzz going and were just about ready to head over to Louisiana Narrows when Ashlyn shows up.

Ashlyn: “I hate to be a downer but I’m really kind of broke right now, so I have to go and scam some drinks, I’ll be back.”

This guy: “Go do what you do best!”

Ashlyn: “Ok, be right back.”

I couldn’t believe I slipped that one past her. I would’ve taken it as an insult. She didn’t. That might be used as an indicator of her personality. Don’t get me wrong, I paint her like an evil wench, but the girl has a big heart. She still, in the end, is my friend.

So she does her thing and returns visually inebriated about 20 minutes later.

This guy: “So you having fun?”

Ashlyn: “Yes, I like being around you, I have to tell you something.”

This guy: “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Ashlyn: “Well not right now, let’s get a drink first. Let me find someone to get me a drink.”

This guy: “Why don’t you just ask me? I’ll get you one.”

Ashlyn: “Well I didn’t want to abuse my privileges.”

I’m sorry, no. That’s not a privilege, but whatever, I let it slide.

We went to the bar, got our drinks then I asked her again about what it was she had to tell me.

Ashlyn: “Do you know that you are my number 1?”

This guy: “Oh yeah? Is that right? Well thanks.”

Ashlyn: “No actually you are my number 4.”

Trying to maintain the smile on my face as my instant demotion was handed out, I pressed on.

This guy: “So what does it mean to be number 4?”

Ashlyn: “Well my parents are numbers 1 and 2, my lover is number 3, and you are number 4.”

This guy: “Well that’s good I think.”

What do these numbers signify? How could I be on a scale with her parents and her lover?

Ashlyn: “You don’t understand. I love you. You are one of my most favorite people alive. You have always been there for me.”

Was she thinking about me or some other dude? Cause I have been in New York all this time and we seldom talk.

This guy: “I am number 4. Glad to be of service.”

Ashlyn: “If things were different, well….”

This guy: “Don’t finish that sentence. Things are not different. You are drunk, prally not the best time to tell me what you want to say.”

I was avoiding a seriously awkward situation.

Ashlyn: “I mean, I don’t usually bite people. I bit you, you know?”

I wasn’t really following what she was trying to say, I was more concerned about shit not getting weird.

This guy: “Listen, you were drunk. We all do stuff like that when we drink. No worries.”

Ashlyn: “Don’t tell me what is real and what is not?” Her voice was stern.

This guy: “Listen, I feel you.”

With that, I went back to my siblings and wrapped it up. It was time for Louisiana Narrows.

When we get to Louisiana Narrows, the vibe had changed slightly. She was a bit more stand offish and now she was with her friend. It turns out that they knew a bartender there and were getting all their drinks for me. I made note of the fact that not one single drink was offered to me. It was perfectly fine by me as I knew I was going to Element30 where our good friend Dj Clive would be able to hook us up with drinks. It was determined at that point that Ashlyn would not get hooked up.

We polished off a few drinks and finally headed over to Element30. Ashlyn was hammered. I was surprisingly soberish.

I walk in and all the usual suspects are there. Clive is rockin it, Ayden is dancing, and Tom is standing by the booth like he always does. The place was packed and it really was just what I needed to reconnect to my roots.

I greet the guys and grab Ayden to go get a drink with me. We got enough drinks for everyone including my sister and brother, but somehow I “forgot” to get one for Ashlyn. Woops.

This little game went on for the better part of the night, and eventually I was pretty trashed. This was the perfect opportunity for Ashlyn to corner me and push her agenda. She comes up to me in the middle of the dance floor and stops me from dancing.

Ashlyn: “Hey, remember what I told you earlier?”

This guy: “Yeah.” I said screaming over the music.

At that instance she leans in to kiss me. She manages to get a little bit of lip before I stop her. Why did I stop her? Because I didn’t want her to have her way. My ego got in the way of getting some action. Thanks to all the booze coursing through my veins, I cock blocked myself.

This guy: “What are you doing?”

Ashlyn: “Oh my god!”

And with that she grabbed her friend and ran to the bathroom. She disappeared for what must have been 20 minutes. I was feeling good about rejecting her. Who knows why? Maybe it was years of frustration with women that made me do it or maybe it was just me being drunk and stupid, point is, I felt alright about it.

She finally emerges from the bathroom and walks directly to me. She had this concerned look on her face. This is where we get to find out just how crazy some women can be, namely this one.

Ashlyn: “You know what I told you right?”

This guy: “Yeah.”

Ashlyn: “The thing about being number 4?”

This guy: “Yeah.”

Ashlyn: “I just want you to know… I mean… I think I fucked up…”

Was I getting another demotion? Did she forget to mention someone that would make me drop a few places?

This guy: “how so?”

Ashlyn: “I don’t want you to get the wrong Idea… but like… “

She was dragging this out like some daytime soap opera.

Ashlyn: “…I hope I didn’t lead you on by telling you that. I love my girlfriend. I don’t want you to think that I look at you that way. What I meant by what I said was that you are like one of my favorite people.”

I was so far from heart broken that I barely registered what she was telling me, Clive was playing some ill tunes and he just got done slamming Ayden’s new track. Far more interesting than the conversation I was having.

This guy: “Believe me, I didn’t take it the wrong way.”

It really wasn’t what she said, so much as the fact that she made out with me in New York, Bit me a few days earlier and tried to tell me that she only does that to her lovers, and that she tried to make out with me just now that kinda clued me into her ulterior motives. Now she is playing it off cause I shocked her ego by rejecting her. Can this get any more high school?

This guy: “Listen sweetie, I’m alright.”

Ashlyn: “I think I should go home.”

This guy: “Yes, you should.”

With that she left. This was a personal victory for me. Granted, I didn’t get any booty, but we all secretly knew that wasn’t going to happen. What I did do is take control of a situation and handle it my way. It was therapy for the ego. I ended up rocking out with my homies and having the best time ever. Clive tore it up that night, Ayden was in rare form and seemed happy to be there, and Tom was… well standing there by the booth, just like he always does. We all got ripped and the night came to a close. I was ready to go back to New York.

The trip to Orlando was a great trip and the time I spent with my friends was priceless. I looked back at a week of boozing and hanging out and I felt as if I had gotten a lot out of my system. Going back to New York seemed a little scary as I had not thought of Angelika the whole time I was in Orlando, but I knew I had some demons to face. Christmas and New Years were coming and I was not at all prepared to spend them alone.

There was one last thing I would have to endure before this vacation was over.

I hopped a plane back home.

The flight was smooth.

I landed.

My ride home was waiting for me.

It was Angelika.